Make your own tamales

Normally, I make tamales around the holidays. The tradition has something to do with everyone having something special to unwrap on Christmas. I like that. Last November, when my mom was visiting, we cooked the meat. I never got around to making the tamales. Luckily I have a chest freezer and there sat my meat and frozen broth.

I said "normally" but I've only been making tamales for a few years. I came upon this fantastic webpage and recipe. It's really all you need, but me being me, I altered the recipe a bit. I'm also going to provide a scaled down version of the recipe.

The first time I made these, I didn't know what I was in for, but I am egotistical, optimistic, and hardheaded. All the subsequent times was me being a total idiot thinking I could do this thing. Make all these nommy tamales. I'd be a tamale rock star.

See, the original recipe always makes enough meat for 2-3 batches of tamales. Each batch makes about 48-60 of the darlings. Now, this is a fantastic way to make a bunch of frugal food, and I'm sure with the right helpers it could be a whole lotta fun. Last year I had every intention of having a tamale making party, but just seemed to have neither the gumption nor the get-up-and-go.

Whatever. I'm not a tamale rock star and I always want to shoot myself in the eye once I commit to making them. As long as the dough goes unmade, it's all still theoretical and fun. The reality is that if by the time they are all made you still want to eat some a miracle might just have occured. I'm not trying to scare you off, but it takes several hours to prepare and steam a batch. Once the masa gets wet things gets real.



How to make tamales:

Please see above link.

Tamale recipe (my version): I substitute ground cumin for the seeds in the dough. Seriously, you don't mess with a good recipe.

A scaled down version:

For the meat (filling, could be optional to make a vegetarian version, or maybe you could use a meat substitute):

• 4 lbs bone-in pork and/or chicken, cooked and shredded
• 2 Tbs plus 2 tsp corn oil
• 2 Tbs chili powder
• 1 Tbs garlic powder
• 1 Tbs ground cumin
• 1 tsp black pepper
• 2 tsp salt

For the dough:

• 2 cups masa (I use Maseca, but will be switching to something made from organic corn in the future)
• 2/3 cups corn oil
• 1 Tbs paprika
• 1 Tbs salt
• 1 Tbs chili powder
• 1 Tbs garlic powder
• 1 tsp ground cumin (I prefer the flavor of the ground cumin over that of the seeds)

The tamales would otherwise be prepared the same way. Here's another link to that webite. I did not make this recipe and I claim no ownership of any part, not even the (untested) scaled-down version.

Glop: A Tradition, aka chili con queso y carne

Glop:  my mother made this as a meal every night for years. I am not kidding.  It's ridiculously tasty, and really bad for you, which is why we have it at most twice a year on New Year's Eve and Superbowl Sunday.

Ingredients:

1 lb. ground beef, the fattier the tastier (would probably taste just fine with a meat substitute, too), you can leave out the meat

1 lb Velveeta (I use the light version) sliced 1/2" thick.

1 cup salsa.

Directions:  Brown and drain your meat.  Add Velveeta. Melt together over med-low heat. Stir in salsa. Serve  hot with tortilla chips and sliced jalapenos, if desired. Enjoy! Just not every fucking day, mmmk?

S*^t on a Shingle

I will post a basic recipe for this at the end of this entry.

I'm really writing just because I know I am not the only hausfrau or hausmaus or hausherr who realizes that dinner time has, once again, snuck up and bit me on the tushie.

Always, ALWAYS, keep a package of smoked sausage or gound meat in your freezer for just such an occassion.  A package of sausage, mixed with some veggies sauted in butter and tossed with egg noodles, will please just about anyone.  Add salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste and serve with a salad. The peeps, smalls to bigs liked it.  I count it as a WIN even if it is not very healthy.

S*^t on a Shingle (a dish very familiar to some older military types) is hamburger gravy served over toast.  Brown one pound of hamburger, if you are adventurous or ambitious, brown it with onions and/or garlic, and/or mushrooms, and/or peppers.  Drain, and reserve two tablespoons of fat, or don't drain and reserve all the grease (nasty artery-clogger, but it offers loads more flavor).  While it is hot, stir in 2-4 tablespoons of flour, depending on how much liquid fat you have. Stir it all together, under medium heat.  FYI, this is called a roux. You are now a soux chef and can make sauces.  Congratulations!  (Throws confetti for you). Slowly stir in 1-2 cups of milk.  Broth can also be used, but milk is traditional.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.  Spoon over toast cut into triangles (cookbooks call these "toast points").  Yum yum.  Adjust the amount of gravy using 2 Tbs of flour/1 cup of milk or broth, to ensure all your mouths get fed.  Serve with a favorite cooked veggie or side salad.

Make it as fancy (I know someone who made it with ciabatta bread--whatever) or as basic as you like.  You are filling tummies so the bodies grow, the minds learn, and to keep it real, the beasties sleep better on a full tummy.

In case you didn't notice, that was a twofer:  two recipes for the price of one.  Unless your beast is especially spoiled, eating something called "S*^t on a Shingle" is sure to be a real fun treat to eat.

Enjoy!